The other girls around me are complaining about their period…
“Ugh, I’m walking down the red carpet this week.”
“My horrible Aunt Flo is visiting.”
“I wish I wasn’t a girl.”
“I can’t wait to have a hysterectomy one day so I don’t have to deal with periods.”
Have you heard it before? Or maybe you’ve just heard it on the baby side…
“It was an ‘oops’ baby…”
“We weren’t even trying.”
“We even used protection, but I guess I’m just Fertile Myrtle!”
“I hate being pregnant…it makes me feel so fat.”
Unless they’ve been in our shoes, they don’t understand how those words hurt. The people that say these things have no idea why we might shut down after a comment like this. They don’t know what it’s like to worry about not having a period. They don’t know what it’s like to wish for a baby. They don’t know what it feels like to feel broken.
Although you might not believe it, you aren’t broken. If you’re missing your period, your body is reacting exactly as it’s supposed to in an emergency state. Your body is keeping you from having a baby because it is in a stressed state; it is detecting that the environment is not safe enough for you to conceive and is therefore making sure a pregnancy and/or your period isn’t happening.
What do you say when someone makes such an insensitive remark?
Gently Recite Your Story with Honesty
They won’t hear it if you’re angry. Upon hearing my best friend complain, I said:
“I wish I could say that. Every time I go to the bathroom, step on the scale, get dressed, exercise, or go out in public to see all the other girls and families with babies, I’m reminded that there’s something wrong with me.”
This is what I said before I know that I had HA. As soon as I learned, I took a different approach—
Crush Them with Some Truth
I’ve started to celebrate periods saying:
“Your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do! Your body is cycling and ovulating (if they are pregnant). This is a sign that you aren’t in a stressed state. If you had prolonged high cortisol, you’d be missing your period like I was in a world of hurt. Without those hormones, your whole body starts to fall apart.”
Remember that Everyone has Issues
Show me their chart! Get talking to them! I can guarantee that the grass is not always greener on their side. Pregnant or not, almost every girl I talk to suffers from acne, heavy cramping, body image issues, low progesterone, crazy cravings, etc. And guess what? All of those are hormonal struggles. If they pretend everything else is perfect, they’re not telling you everything.
Outstanding health isn’t JUST having your period or finally getting pregnant. In fact, getting your period back is just the beginning, and pregnancy brings a whole new realm of challenges. So while you might be looking on thinking that someone else has it all together, recognize that there are other aspects of their life that aren't.
